I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
