Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize