How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
