Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
