do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
