I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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