Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
