Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize