Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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