I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
