Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
