Whod you bang
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
