watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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