Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
