All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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