I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
