I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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