i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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