Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
