its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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