Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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