I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Houston, we have a blender
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize