She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
