wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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