piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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