Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
