I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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