Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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