Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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