maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
