I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
