it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
