just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
