Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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