i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
