Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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