Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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