i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Randomize
