Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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