I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
birth control should be required to get into college
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
