first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Im part way to drunk.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize