Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
