Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
