Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
