Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
where am i from again
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
