Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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