There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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