I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ok first of all what the fuck
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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