Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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