Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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