Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
