You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
