You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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