My room smells like vodka and shame
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
