It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize