he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You took a bar mat shot.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
