a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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