i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
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