ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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