I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
