There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
