Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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