so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
