I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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