Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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